The Infinite

04 Dec, 2024

Have you felt it?

In my mind is a pressure, a feeling like the tide eroding the flimsy sand walls on a beach.

You won't understand it until it opens

You wake up and do the same things endlessly, the ensuing madness brings a clarity. The loop doesn't give you the insights of a god, just the foresight of one who suffers eternally.

There is a Door and beyond it the infinite. When it opens it leaks into my mind, flooding it with knowledge. It rings in my ears and makes my teeth buzz.

Try not to confuse knowing with the expectation of an event. The difference will not be clear, not to you, not yet.

When I left one cycle for another I realised that suffering has more forms than I thought, the quiet, muffled type settles in slowly and surely into your bones, staining them with melancholy.

It can also be a window, frosted and blurred. Knowledge without understanding, It is easier to handle but leaves me wanting more answers.

There are others that feel it, you learn to se it in their eyes, their work, their art. How people express without concession or fear.

There are times where I forget this, the infinite leaving my mind soon after arrival but I feel different now, time and circumstance have changed me.

The infinite still sings regardless.

For as repetitive as the days may seem you still have to ignore the steady decomposition of your body. There is no reset or restart, only forward.