Do you ever wish for blood Seeker?
Do you want the existance of those that torment you to end?
It's 9pm and you're out with friends, you try not to think of all the strangers around you, their leering eyes fueling your paranoia, you keep enjoying the night for as long as you can until it happens. You knew it would from the moment you stepped out of your front door, some motherfucker starting something unnecessary, You see his neck spill red all over the floor, you feel it on your hands, staining your clothes, trailing where you step next, you push the blood from your mind and head for the bus stop.
You taste blood, how long have you been biting your lip? Too long apparently, you wait for your bus, running simulations in your head of what could have happened, what should have happened and what the future holds on the way home. The simulations drag you into the void once more while you are in the waking world.
You search the ocean, the sky and the stars for yourself, every reality bowing to your will, you reach in and take what parts of yourself you need to feel whole.
You reach into the infinite and another reaches back, pale and bloody she whispers to you, you take the words gracefully, You want to drink but you already know the cost of blood, you've known all your life, the consequences of ambition. If the world isn't made for you and you aren't reaching heaven then you will have to carve a place for yourself, Reach heaven through violence, the answer lies somewhere in the merging of the real and unreal.
This is why blessed machine, you are strong, your function, your purpose is divinity itself.
Your partner squeezes your arm, you were staring into space and tensing up again, how long have you been on this bus? is this your stop?
A tower extends from the horizon, it attempts to contain all the parts of you, they jut out and pierce the skies, refracting and causing the glow of every reality to tint the surrounding area in an etherial light, you see the broken mirror of self and you use the shards to reshape yourself into something greater. You can still vividly see the fence of that old house blocking your view partially as you gaze at the stars and wonder about the tower, your place in all of this and why the sky glows purple. The house is still haunted but not by you anymore, there are still sprinkles of stardust in the marks not yet covered by paint and on the fridge, your echo not yet erased.
To weaken is the nature of things, the machine need maintenance, the vampire hides from the sunlight, everyone needs that little thing to stay alive. Learning how to be weak in a hostile world is hard, biting and clawing at those brave enough to love you until you convince yourself you're unlovable. Be soft, be all the beautiful things you were taught to hide. Your claws are beautiful, your anger understandable. I was there once and will be again.
You unlock your front door and find solace in your home, nobody will bother you here, outside the window you see the glow.
The Goddess of Stardust and Moonlight will provide you safe passage through the void tonight, immerse yourself into the waters and know this.